There is a popular phrase in our family for those things in life God allows which we can’t control and are unable to change….”It is what it is.” Who would have thought that five simple words could be such a powerful reminder to deliberately choose to accept unwanted circumstances rather than giving in to the temptation to complain, be angry and utterly stressed out. A flat tire on the way to work, an unexpected illness that forces you to cancel dinner plans at the last minute, and an interrupted phone call by a toddler in need of some attention (good or bad!) are all perfectly acceptable opportunities to practice the “It is what it is” mentality. So is staying in a hotel with a 5 1/2 month old.
Paul and I had the joy of attending a dear friend’s wedding in Pennsylvania this weekend. While I could not have been more excited to celebrate such a special event, I admit I was a little apprehensive of the day’s festivities because of Will. Though he is certainly a happy and pleasant little guy, and even fairly flexible despite his parents, I knew it was inevitable that I’d have to forgo the desire to keep him “on his schedule” and that certain expectations would not be perfectly met. “Lord, I surrender my desires and expectations to You,” I prayed as we began our journey, “It is what it is.”
Test number one came as we arrived at the hotel just in time to put him down for his afternoon nap. Perfect. Everything thus far had gone just as we had planned. He took over a 2 hour nap in the car and was a joyful little traveler. And…we arrived at the hotel exactly when the Internet directions predicted, something that rarely happens! Will even went down without any trouble despite the unfamiliar and new surroundings. Thank you, Lord. Forty-five minutes later however, just as I had finished getting ready for the wedding and was laying down for a quick snooze myself, he decided to foil the plan for a good, solid nap by playing in his crib rather than falling back asleep. So much for my rest for the weary. It is what it is.
We arrived at the wedding on time and as any proud parents, were deligted to show off our precious little baby to all our friends from college. It was an absolutely gorgeous fall day in Pennsylvania, just perfect for such an occasion, and my friend could not have looked any more beautiful as she prepared to walk down the aisle and unite with her husband. Just as we stood up in awe of her radiance as she took her first steps, the air was filled with a gigantic belch followed by a loud “SPLAT”. Though it was a rather humorous sound, I was beginning to think critically of some child somewhere who was less than well-mannered. Then I felt the harsh nudge from my husband. Yep. That belch and splat was myless than well-mannered son. An acclaimed “spitter”, he made his presence known in true “Will fashion” as he spit up all over the pew in front of us. Now I am not talking about small little baby spit up, easily cleaned with a tissue or burp cloth. No, that would not make enough of a statement. I mean spit up that could have coated a small plate! It had even managed to fill the the corners and crevasses of the wood. The nicely dressed woman in front of us, while trying not to appear horrified, looked down at her seat with an expression that cannot be appropriately captured in writing. Battling the desire to burst out in laughter and in tears at the same time, Paul and I both frantically cleaned the seat with burp cloths, paper towels and antibacterial wipes and most likely created a far bigger scene than Will had. But despite our efforts, and the reality that the pew was most likely much cleaner now than it had been before the wedding, that woman never fully sat back in her seat again. She sat on the very, very edge through the entire service! The whole event traumatized my husband, I think, because he immediately took Will out and never returned. We met up after the ceremony was over. It is what it is.
The reception was truly delightful, and surprisingly uneventful for our family compared to the wedding itself. It was a quaint and cozy environment and the food was incredible! Will entertained all those around him with his sweet disposition and attempted very hard to maintain conversation with them through his new-found sounds! Little did we know that our precious little baby was really just getting himself geared up for a late night party…in his crib!!!
Thinking the day was behind us, we returned to the hotel with plenty of time to get Will to bed relatively close to his normal bedtime. Paul and I were both extremely impressed with ourselves for being able to leave the reception so promptly and anticipated a great night ahead of us because of our intentional efforts to effectively plan out the day. Again, Will surpassed our expectations by going to sleep without any trouble and we crawled in bed for an early night and were thrilled to be getting some extra sleep. Boy were we fooled.
Our son, the precious little angel, must have thought he was on a field trip that revolved entirely around him. Between 10:00 p.m. and 3:00 a.m. he managed to wake up almost every hour for his own little play-date with his sheets, his blanket, his binky, the sides of the crib…you name it. He was talking, laughing, moving about and then eventually fussing when he decided he was tired enough to go back to sleep. Sometimes these episodes lasted only 5 or 10 minutes…but the worst was nearly 45 minutes of sheer fun for our little guy that resulted in his daddy removing the binky from his mouth and forcing him to cry and burn off some of that pent up energy. Much to the disapproval of our hotel neighbors, I’m sure, this tactic did seem to work and we all managed to fall back asleep. However, I would be lying if I said I was not secretly angry that my hopes of sweet rest were shattered. I should have known. It is what it is.
I suppose I could continue the story and explain the crying bouts and interrupted naps Will suffered through on our trip home, which again had me uttering (through clenched teeth at this point!) “It is what it is”. But somehow, I think you get the idea. It was certainly an opportunity for us to practice surrendering our desires and expectations and to accept whatever He chose to bring our way. I’m not sure we were able to please Him with the way we responded in every situation, but at least I can see growth and I am so grateful for that.
So…my prayer for you today is that you would be able to embrace those little, unwanted circumstances that tend to show up almost daily and are really quite unimportant in the grand scheme of things, with a heart that longs to see Christ glorified. May you not be discouraged. May you not be easily angered, or even annoyed. Instead, may you be able to smile with joy as you realize how little control we have in life…and thankfully so!!!
Danielle said,
October 24, 2006 at 9:31 am
Great post, Kate! Thanks for the reminder! The “splat” story is hillarious, although at the time, I’m sure it was less so. That’ll be one to remind Will of when he’s older!
Zoanna said,
October 24, 2006 at 11:59 am
Hysterical. I can picture this scene in living color, play by hilarious play. It’s so much funnier when it happens to someone else, though! I remember a similar instance out the other end of one about of my children. Thankfully it was not at a wedding. I have pictures of Ben in a Waldenbook shopping bag in an effort to contain the mess.
bethyoung said,
October 24, 2006 at 8:25 pm
aww, Will
Cindy said,
October 25, 2006 at 1:36 pm
It sounds so adventerous and I for one would really like to see this one acted out! Little ones are bound to lead us to say “It is what it is!” are they not? Keep pressing on and thanks for the lesson on trust. Love ya!
Kerri said,
October 26, 2006 at 7:04 am
wow – it sounds like you had an excellent performance! who got married?
bethyoung said,
October 27, 2006 at 1:19 pm
woo hoo! You’ve got blogrool
Karen G. said,
November 2, 2006 at 9:16 am
yikes, Kate. you didn’t tell Jim and i about that! thanks for fitting us into your sleepless schedule. it was great to see you guys…